Revelation

About 3 weeks ago, the kids were talking amongst themselves in the van while I ran errands. Joshua and Rebecca told me they loved Daddy more because he always said "yes," but I always say, "no." They said they didn't understand this, and I couldn't tell them the reason why. At the time, it honestly didn't hurt my feelings, since it is true. But I didn't have time to dwell on the why of it all.

I was able to go on a 1/2 day retreat this past Saturday, and the answer came to me right before lunch. I hurriedly wrote my thoughts down in a little journal I use when I go on retreats, or any spiritual thoughts. Sometime this week, I hope to sit Joshua and Rebecca down and give them an answer to their question. This is what I wrote:

When I say "no," it's not because I love you less than Daddy. It's because I love you just as much, maybe more. I say, "no" because I see you as a child, and you need to learn self-control and self-discipline. If I say, "yes" all the time, you will come to believe you will always get your way, and get what you want, and this is what makes you happy. Hearing, "no" forces you to cope with the situation at that moment. You may not like me saying, "no," but you will learn to deal with it.

Daddy says, "yes" more often than I do because he misses you when he's at work all day long. He also wants to you be happy, when he is spending time with you. He is trying to make up for the time he was gone. Since I am home with you all day, I see opportunities to teach you, to help you grow as a person of character.

So...I do say, "no" a lot, more often than Daddy. But it's part of my job, because it will also teach you how to handle conflicts yourself. Later on, when you are grown, if someone says, "no" to you, you'll have to decide if you want to work hard enough to get to, "yes" or have self-control to accept the "no."