15 Days

That's how long we were without power. 15 days. 15 days of dark nights and barely there mornings. 15 days of tripping over the obstacle course of extension cords, hearing the constant hum of fans and the incessant roar of the generator (and everyone else's on the street too). 15 days of dinner by candlelight, paper plates, and creative cooking on the gas range or the grill outside. 15 days of waiting, praying, crying, (and yes, sometimes cursing) the fact that we rely on electricity for EVERYTHING, and knowing there was nothing we could do about it. All we could do was wait, and hope the power company hadn't forgotten about us, and knew our entire neighborhood had power except for our street and the cul-du-sac one block over.

Finally, around 4:50 this afternoon, I was in our bedroom, about to walk into the bathroom, and I saw the lights flicker. I yelled at David, "Did you see that???" Of course, he hadn't. I was praying under my breath, holding my breath...and then the lights came on, and stayed on. I ran outside and heard my neighbor Jay whooping and cheering. I saw his wife and yelled, "Hey Casey, where's my margarita?" I'd told Casey earlier this week we were going to have a block party when we got power again, and she said she'd make margaritas. I had said, "Okay, make one pitcher for me, and one pitcher for everyone else..."

David and I then went around the house, collected all the extension cords, fans, and power stripes we'd been using, closed the windows and best of all, TURNED ON THE AIR CONDITIONING. I never thought I'd love the sound of the AC turning on so much in my whole life. Right now, the house feels great. Can you believe we used all this to run the fridge, deep freezer, phone, computer, 3 fans, and a couple of lamps off the generator (and there was MORE outside!)?

I can't wait to cook and BAKE tomorrow! I asked the kids what they wanted, and of course they said, PIZZA. I have to say I was pleased when they said they wanted me to make it, not order it out. (Yes, I had a warm fuzzy!) Oh, and a cherry chocolate cake. Definitely :-)

I am still in awe-- when I hit a light switch, the lights come on. I'd actually forgotten what that was like. I keep thinking about that bible quote, "...and God said, let there be light." Never has that had more meaning that today. I feel like we are not living in the darkness anymore... we are living, breathing, and staying in the light.

(Oh, did I tell you my Eagle Scout husband needed help with the manual can opener? He just couldn't figure it out. I couldn't believe it when he asked me to open his can of fruit last week; the man who can fix anything was stumped. I promised him I'd raze him on my blog ;-)

Contraception vs. NFP

I was reading the rest of the September/October 2008 issue of Family Foundations, and read an intriguing article on page 15. A seminarian, Eddie Dwyer from the Diocese of Saginaw, Michagan used YouTube to educate others about NFP. Check it out--there are six videos (number 1 is posted below, and you'll find the links to the other 5 on the website), and they mimic the popular "Mac. vs. PC" commercials.

One of the actors is a seminarian in the Diocese of Lansing, Michigan. I can't wait to show my handsome computer geek (who is a banker for a living) husband this one ;-). Don't forget to turn off my playlist at the bottom so you will hear the video properly.

Guess What?

No, we still don't have power...sigh. I am trying to take things one day at a time (sometimes it's hour by hour). I never dreamed we'd be without power for 12 days. The latest restoration update from Centerpoint says we should have power by Friday, but my neighbor called them earlier and they told her it wouldn't be until Sunday. I have to hang on and believe we'll have power by Friday. Any hope is better than none at all right now.
The kids are still hanging in there...they definitely are hot these days, especially at bedtime, when no amount of blowing fans and opening of windows seems to make much of a different. I am taking a COLD shower every night (and every morning if I have time), and consuming chocolate in somewhat controlled amounts after the kids go to bed. Okay, okay...it's at least half a Hershey bar...I won't admit to anything else! A mom's gotta cope somehow, right?
Yes, I've broken down. I have cried no less than 3 times, the last being Monday night, when I just wailed in the bedroom, and desperately tried not to cry too loudly, since we have doors and windows open all over the house. I was praying the kids didn't hear me. I don't think they did-- the one benefit of having your neighbors' generators being so loud is it drowns out just about everything.

I can't believe I am such a weakling... so many people have absoutely nothing after Hurricane Ike came and destroyed their homes, their livelihood, etc. David got this site from a coworker, and let me tell you, when you look through the pictures of the destruction after the hurricane, it'll give you a new perspective, whatever your situation may be:

http://www.tpicks.com/pictures%20people%20have%20sent%20me.html

And when I can't even cook in my house anymore, (the gas cooktop was great until the temperature and humidity went back up), I'm sweating like crazy, and I feel like I can't stand it another minute, I remember Chloe. Here is her website:

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/chloeschmidt

If a seven-year-old girl can have as much courage as she does, and endure unspeakable pain like she has, then I'd better just offer up everything I can for that precious child. There is nothing we're going through that can compare to Chloe's fight with cancer. She is a true warrior. We have been praying for her for a long time now. Please add her to your prayers.

And one more thing...
I try to remember that Jesus, Mary, and Joseph never had AC. They survived.

Two things happened today that made me smile. At the CCL Convention last July, I'd asked one of the board members if I could put the CCL logo and website on my blog. Then Ann Gundlach (editor of CCL's magazine Family Foundations) emailed me. She told me while checking out her Google alerts (which sends her notices whenever phrases like "natural family planning, or "couple to couple league" appear), my blog popped up. She asked if I'd let her mention my blog in the next edition of the magazine. I said, "sure, " and completely forgot about the conversation until my brother-in-law Peter called me. He said, "You've been published again!" David and I have both been quoted in previous articles about natural family planning (National Catholic Register, Jan. 2008). So needless to say, having my humble blog mentioned in Ann's "letter from the editor" was a bit exciting. It was enough to get me through another hot, day here in Texas without the benefit of air conditioning.

The second thing that happened was our prize from the local paper. I'd submitted a picture of Joshua and Rebecca on the first day of school, and they drew random names to win a free children's book. Well...we won! Our book came in the mail today, TEXAS Aesop's Fables. It looks really cute... and it's a hardcover book too. Maybe if we're not limp from the heat tonight, I'll try to read a couple of the tales to the kids. They haven't complained about the cold baths yet!

Well, the kids are begging for the computer, and I'm going to let them have it while I fix dinner. I haven't even bothered heating up anything these days. Cold food really doesn't taste bad if you're already hot. Then we'll break out the ice pops. Gabriel just LOVES those things. I am thankful David had stocked up on a million of them, they are so good when it's hot outside, and hot inside!

Roughing it in Style

We have been without power for 7 days now. I can't believe it's been that long. We were prepared to have no electricity for 3-4 days, but a week? Wow...
Our generator has been running nonstop now for 3 days, since gas has been easier to find, and it's been a godsend. David even hooked up the TV tonight and is currently watching Mythbusters ;-). We keep checking the Centerpoint website and the restoration schedule. Right now, 80% of our zip code should have power by next Thursday. I can't even wrap my brain around that...we could be without power for another 6 days. We've done a little research and discovered we're on a separate grid (our street, the cul-du-sac one street over, and 1/2 of the next street).from the rest of the neighborhood. Yes, the rest of our subdivision has power. We've reported a downed power line right behind the fence at the end of our street. Nothing else we can do. Is there a novena to some saint for the restoration of electricity? I may need to start one...

I know there are so many people who have it worse that us. There are over a million people in the Houston area who don't have power either. The house has no damage, and we have plenty of food and water. And until today, I was positive and mostly upbeat. But today, I admit it, I succumbed. I was cranky, I wasn't in a good mood...I yelled at the kids for no good reason at all. David called me from work this morning, and I just bawled. I guess I'd just been holding it in until now. I feel so weak, and I'm really ashamed of myself. I did get out with a friend tonight and we had drinks at Chili's...I feel a little better.

I just want things to be "normal." I want to be able to bake again and make a great meal for my friend Julie who just had a baby. I want to walk around the house without breaking into a sweat or tripping over extension cords. I want to sleep at night without the steady, loud hum of a fan at the foot of the bed. Mostly, I just want to see light again.

Sigh...please forgive me. I really believe I'll be better tomorrow. David will be home for the weekend, and I know his presence will keep me calm. I should have another malibu and coke tomorrow night... that will probably help too. And my neighbors Minnie and Casey have decided we're going to throw the biggest darn block party ever when the power comes back on. I can't wait...I am going to bake like, a dozen cakes. Seriously...

I know I have to focus on the good things...

The kids, thankfully, are doing GREAT. They aren't bothered at all anymore about the lack of electricity. We decided a couple of days ago that since we were in it for the long haul, we might as well take the "roughing it" experience to the ultimate level and have a camp out. We had a dinner of pancakes and sausage, and of course, made s'mores for dessert. David set up the 6 man tent in the backyard, and the kids are all snuggled up in their sleeping bags with a big box fan at the entrance. David said he'd sleep out with them, but I guess he changed his mind after our next door neighbor fired up his new, 15,000 watt generator. Geez...

Here's what Christina, Rebecca, and Joshua look like after a night in a tent. Aren't they adorable?

Hope you and your family are safe tonight, and if you have power, enjoy it for me. I know God is giving us the opportunity to earn graces, and if I just hang on, Jesus will give us all the "light" we need.

Waiting for the Light...

We have weathered the storm, and are waiting for our power to come back on. I was thankful our house was spared from any damage, and so glad to see outside after David took all the plywood off all the windows. It's very, very dark in a house that has wood over every window, especially when there's no power, and therefore, no lights.
The first 2 days, the kids whined for the TV and computer, but realized how well off we were after we drove to church and back on Sunday, one day after Hurricane Ike. They saw all the debris in the street, all the trees that had fallen on homes, and the long lines for food and gas. So after that, they stopped complaining. We are on our 5th day without power now. But David took pity on them this morning, and hooked up the computer to the generator. So they happily watched a few episodes of The Backyardigans.

I have to admit it seems surreal to be on the computer at all, let alone check my email and post on my blog. After the kids went out to play, David hooked up the modem for the first time this morning. I had 69 emails... unreal.
These are the graces that have been the most memorable since the hurricane hit.

1. Generous and caring neighbors. John across the street loaned us his generator periodically, then another neighbor Tom gave us his extra one to use until we have power. I will be forever thankful to them. When the power is restored, I'm going to bake both of them a cake. We have cold water, ice, and all the frozen food is safe. When you have 4 kids, you've invested in that food in the deep freezer. Another neighbor Lisa (the next street over has power) let me do two big loads of laundry, and when I picked it up, she had even laid the clothes flat so they wouldn't wrinkle. Awesome. I'd forgotten how much laundry we go through in 4 days.

2. The sandwich shop down the street was open Saturday night, and we got hot sandwiches for lunch on Sunday. Amazing how a simple sandwich makes everything better.

3. A cool front. David Paul on Channel 11 said, "this would be the most significant cool front for Houston, ever." He was right. Since Monday night, it has been gorgeous outside, and more than tolerable inside the house. No rain, so everything has dried out, and the kids have been able to play outside to their hearts content.

4. We never lost our phone line, gas, or water. I've been able to cook every night, and the kids have made s'mores over the gas cook top twice. Chocolate is the best distraction :-) Gabriel LOVED warm melted chocolate, and kept begging for more.

5. Mass, (although brief) was a welcome respite on Sunday, and it was reassuring to see familiar faces and know people were fervently praying for each other.

6. Faith like a child. After communion on Sunday, I heard Christina say to David, "Daddy, we have to pray for all the people's houses that got hurt by the hurricane." She remembered all the downed trees we saw on the way to Mass, and how many of them were on homes.

7. Gratitude that our house is fine, our neighbors homes are fine, and no one we know has lost their house completely. Some had damage, but nothing major, thanks be to God.

8. Quality playtime with each other. The kids have been forced to find other ways to amuse themselves, often with toys they haven't brought out in ages. At one point, Joshua was on his Leapster, Rebecca on the Leapad, Christina had her My First Leapad, and the girls showed Gabriel how to use the Little Touch Leapad. It was sweet to see that much cooperation.

9. No flu shots. The kids were supposed to get flu shots Monday afternoon, but the clinic was shut down; no telling when they'll be up and running again. Nobody was upset by that at all ;-).

10. A good old fashioned newspaper. We've been able to buy a paper every day and check for news about schools, grocery stores, gas stations, etc. It's been a reliable source of news for us.

I am ready for life to get back to "normal," but realize God is giving us the opportunity to earn graces right now. I've been through typhoons and blizzards growing up, but really didn't appreciate the full impact a natural disaster has until now. As a child, I suppose you don't really understand or see the greater picture because you count on your parents to make life as normal as possible. I keep telling the kids, "We're just camping out in the house."

Everyone stay safe, and let me know how you are. God bless, and we're praying for you.

Hurricane a comin'...

Well, David is boarding up the house. Nobody else in our neighborhood is, but David isn't taking any chances. In case you missed it when Hurricane Rita came though, here's a picture of what the house looked like. He marked the plywood and stored it in the garage, so it looks exactly the same this time.

I just got back from the store to get chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers to make smores. We promised the kids they could make some over the gas range when the power goes out. I really do think we will be without electricity for a while once the storm hits. We are well stocked, and have all the essentials, so I know we'll be fine. Hurricane Ike, we're ready!

Here is a hurricane prayer my friend Gina sent to me this morning.

Prayer for Hurricane Season*

O God, Master of this passing world, hear the humble voices of your children. The Sea of Galilee obeyed your order and returned to its former quietude; you are still the Master of land and sea. We live in the shadow of a danger over which we have no control. The Gulf, like a provoked and angry giant, can awake from its seeming lethargy, overstep its conventional boundaries, invade our land and spread chaos and disaster. During this hurricane season, we turn to You, O loving Father. Spare us from past tragedies whose memories are still so vivid and whose wounds seem to refuse to heal with the passing of time. O Virgin, Star of the Sea, Our Beloved Mother, we ask you to plead with your Son in our behalf, so that spared from the calamities common to this area and animated with a true spirit of gratitude, we will walk in the footsteps of your Divine Son to reach the heavenly Jerusalem where a storm-less eternity awaits us. Amen.

Originally dedicated to the victims of Hurricane Audrey in 1957.

Fr. Al Volpe, Cameron Parish, LA

Stay safe everyone...

Proof our Child is Always Hungry...and Smart!

We have a trash can under the kitchen sink, and the cabinet latch is broken, so Gabriel has taken to scavenging for scraps when he gets hungry.

Okay, just kidding. I really feed the child. Really I do.

He's also figured out how to undo the cabinet latches under the TV where all the DVD's are. I don't need to say anything more, do I?

Little stinker!

Negotiations with a Four Year Old

Conversation before church this morning:

CHRISTINA: "Mommy, can I take this baby doll to church...pleeeeease?"
ME: "You may take it in the car, but you cannot take it into church."
CHRISTINA: "Why?"
ME: "Because we don't take toys into church honey."
CHRISTINA: "It's not a toy Mommy, it's a baby doll."
ME: "Christina it doesn't matter, you cannot take it to church."
CHRISTINA: "But Mommy, she won't talk!"
ME: (after a minute of laughing) "Christina, the answer is NO."
CHRISTINA: throws the baby doll down in disgust and heads into the living room.

I guess she made her decision.

"A Time to Dance, a Time to Mourn"

Those words describe how I felt today after our meeting with Fr. Norbert. David and I sat down with him for about 45 minutes this morning so he could tell us his expectations for David if he wants to pursue the diaconate. The formation process itself is daunting-- 7 years of formation, classes once or twice a week, weekend retreats for both of us once a month (starting in 2010), and many hours committed to serving the church once he's ordained in 2015.

When David came to me and told me he was starting the initial classes last spring, I went into our bedroom and cried for an hour. I cried more on and off for a week. See, I know my husband, and he's always wanted to serve the Church in a greater capacity than a lay person. And I knew he was thinking about being a deacon. David is also a pretty determined guy; once he decides to do something, he does it. I was so mad he wanted to start this all now! "Why" I asked? Our kids are on the young side, I had plans to volunteer more, and maybe join the choir again. But that's all on hold. I realized David wasn't doing this to hurt me, but I was sure scared. Really scared. Scared enough for me to go running to our Lord in adoration and pray for guidance.

I remember sitting in the chapel, trying to figure out how I was feeling. I truly wanted to be on board with my husband, but I didn't know how I was going to handle it. I didn't want the burden of carrying another cross. By now, David had already started the formation classes (FTCM) once a week, and some nights, I just wanted to scream because he wasn't there to help me with dinner, homework, and the bedtime routine. "Why now God?" That was the burning question.

God always has the right answer. I had for some time been praying for the graces to be a better wife and mother, to please help me be patience, please help me realize when I need to put my tasks aside and just be with my children. I knew at that moment God was telling me "now" because I had been praying for help. Since David wants to discern the diaconate "now," God was answering my prayers, "now."

Being the human I am, I thought, okay, "now." That means God wants me to start growing, "now." Not waiting until later, not waiting until the kids are older, not when I think I'm ready, but "now." Okay God, I say to myself, I can do this. I don't know how yet, but I'll give it all to you and let you handle things. I didn't want to go into this process kicking and screaming...I wanted to go into it with an open mind, and most importantly, and open heart. I couldn't tell God (or David), "no." That just wouldn't be fair--it would be so selfish; to not allow God's grace to work in our lives, and let His awesome plan be revealed. It would be nice if the whole plan was in place for us to see, but that is not God's way. He shows it a little at a time, so we can learn one step at a time. God doesn't let our humanness get in the way, rather He helps us overcome it.

There was still one more aspect that was hard for me to accept. We realized if God was calling David to the diaconate, we should not add to our family for now, and likely not at all if he became ordained. I always though when we had our fourth baby, I would be ready to say, "Okay, 4 is good, we're done." But my heart has cried, and the tears have come in waves until they just overwhelm me. That's the fear I have, the fear that I won't be able to handle that pain. I wish I could have the faith first, and be human afterwards. But every tree has to be pruned to grow straight and tall...and pruning hurts. I hope it doesn't hurt as much as time goes on. This is something God wants me to go through, because I have something to learn from it. Right now, at this moment, I am not dancing, I am mourning, but I am sure the dancing will come later.

Please forgive me for being weak for just a moment. I feel better now that I've been able to put thoughts into words. I certainly don't want to admit I'm not feeling very brave, but I have faith that God will give me the strength and courage I lack. I am praying to be like a child and just follow Him.

First Day of Preschool

Today was Christina's first day of preschool. She went from a toddler to a little girl right before my eyes...sigh. This is her last "first day of preschool," and I can't believe it. Next year, she'll be in kindergarten. If I start thinking about it too long... I know I'll start crying.

My little girl rolled out of bed this morning and picked her 4th of July outfit to wear. She had to have a matching red bow too. I had to wet her hair down first--it was sticking up in every direction possible!
Then we snapped one shot before we left the house.

When we got to the school, she walked right in. Yesterday at Meet the Teacher, she had a little "attitude;" wouldn't let go of me, and wouldn't let the teacher take her picture. It was so bad, Ms. Austin said she would do a "retake" later. But today, Christina was all smiles and sunshine. Whew.

Christina put away her lovey (yes, she still wants it to go to school with her), washed her hands, and started to play with a puzzle, so I knew at that point she was fine.

Here's a few pictures Mommy had to take.

I wish I could go to preschool. There were plenty of great toys to play with--Gabriel didn't want leave either ;-). But I have 4 loads of laundry to do; maybe Gabriel will get a lesson in folding today. (lol)

I'm back home now, and I'm not crying. All right...I'm doing good!