A Weekend with Christ

I had the great blessing of going on a 3 day retreat this past weekend. It started Thursday night, and ended Sunday with lunch. As Regnum Christi, I am supposed to go on retreat once a year, but I hadn't gone since the spring of '06.

Before I tell you more, I have to give a huge "thank you" to my incredible husband David. Not just any man would give his wife the okay to be gone for 3 days and 3 nights. But...my husband can handle all 4 kids, and not even blink, break a sweat, or freak out one bit. Even the other soccer moms were impressed when David showed up Saturday morning with all the kids for the team pictures, left afterwards and took them all out to lunch, and then went back to the soccer field and stayed to watch Rebecca's game. I'm telling y'all, I married up, you know what I mean?

So, what did I learn on this retreat? I'm not sure I can even put it into words, but I'll try.

First, I realized I have not been a true apostle of Christ. I have been...I'm not going to sugar coat it....lazy. And going through the motions, but not really putting my heart into my prayer commitments. I've been tempted by other things, the computer, TV, chocolate. I've been weak, unfocused, uncommitted, and prideful.

Secondly, I believed if I couldn't be consistent with my resolutions for Regnum Christi, then it wasn't...I wasn't...worth it. Why should I keep trying, only to fail time and time again? Whoa...that means I was letting Satan win. My pride was not allowing Christ to "sow" any seeds.

Lastly, I wrote down a parable of sorts, a way to try and put this all into perspective.

God has been preparing me, like a field. He has taken off the sod, plowed and tilled the soil. He has raked the earth smooth, and fertilized it with all the nutrients necessary. The master of the vineyard is there...

Jesus wants to spend time with me...I could hear him saying,

"I've been here, waiting for you, all this time. You can tell me anything, don't worry. I forgive...I forget, I still love you. Just spend time with Me. I'm here, anytime you need Me."

But, I am I willing to accept the seeds? I truly hope so. I pray I hold fast to my prayer commitments, nourish them, and keep the weeds at bay. My soul is dependent on a good harvest, a bountiful one, enough reaped for me, and to share with others. That is what it means to be an apostle of Christ.