Shaken

This morning, we went to 9:00 AM Mass as we usually do.  Both our priests were absent, so a visiting priest was presiding.  David had Children's Liturgy of the Word, so once Father dismissed the children, I was sitting alone in the pews.  Gabriel was in the nursery, so I was looking forward to listening to the readings without having to discipline anyone. 

The lector approached the ambo, cleared his throat, and began...

"A reading from the Book of Isaiah..."

Then he repeated himself, "The Book of Isaiah."

I was watching him intently...but something seemed wrong. 

You know when you're with your kids, doing whatever...and instinctively know they're about to fall and get hurt?   They're just out of your reach...or it's happening from a distance.  And it unfolds...as though you're watching it in slow motion...you're praying you can get there in time, but deep down, you know you can't. 

It's the most terrible feeling in the world. 

So they fall, and you arrive 2 seconds too late. You pick up your child, access the damage, dry the tears, and reassure them they'll be okay.

I saw the gentleman pause...he was holding on to the ambo...but he was swaying.   I realized he was about to pass out.  My mind cried, "NO!"  But I knew he was too far away from anyone up there on the platform...no one could reach him in time. 

The man lost consciousness...and fell straight back.  The sound of him hitting the hard tiled floor was the worse thing I've ever heard...except for the loud,collective gasp from nearly everyone in the congregation. 

Immediately, about a dozen people, including several of the ushers rushed to help.  I heard, "Call an ambulance, " and "Come on...come on."  The man regained consciousness quickly...I could hear him vocalizing...and a new wave of fear washed over me.  Had he suffered a stroke?  He was not terribly old, but he was not young either...probably in his early 60's.  I knelt and started to pray...

"Hail Mary, full of grace..."

Father Thomas was already standing close by, as was Deacon Glenn, but they stayed out of the way.  I knew they were praying too.  I tried to concentrate, but my mind flashed back when Joshua was 5, and had a seizure right on the front steps of the church.  He'd lost consciousness too...for about a minute...we had to call an ambulance.  (Joshua was throughly checked out by a pediatric neurologist, and we never did figure out why he had a seizure, but thankfully, he's never had another one). 

 I was afraid all over again...for someone I didn't even know.  I heard quiet sobbing in the pew behind me...I fought back my own tears...and kept praying.

I know it wasn't more than 10 minutes before the man sat up, but it seemed longer.  Expect for quiet talk up from the group by the ambo, the church was quiet.  Nobody coughed, spoke or sneezed.  I didn't even hear any babies babbling or crying.  I saw a few other people on their knees too, silently praying. 

And then the man was helped up...two others held him by the elbows, and he was able to walk.  They went to the back of the chruch...I assume medical help was waiting in the narthex.  I rose from my knees and sat, realizing only then I'd hadn't taken the time to lower the kneeler...I'd been on the floor the whole time.  The woman assigned to read the 2nd reading approached the ambo and at Fr. Thoma's nod, began the first reading, and Mass continued. 

Fr. Thomas made no mention of the incident in his homily, but after the Proffession of Faith, he said,

"I wanted to let everyone know the gentleman who passed out earlier is fine."  Someone must have given a note to Father, as I didn't see anyone speak to him other than Deacon Glenn. 

After Mass, there were doughnuts in the Christus Center, as were several other families we knew. We all exchanged the same words and thoughts.

"I hope that man is okay...and he'll be checked out by a doctor just in case."

Shaken. 

That's how I felt today.   

And I hope that gentleman is all right.